"The intent of the lyricist, obviously, was to so coarsen the feelings of males who sang the song that the singers could never believe again what most of us believed with all our hearts back then: that women were more spiritual, more sacred than men.
... I have loved only four women in my life... Let it be said now, though, that all four seemed more virtuous, braver about life and closer to the secrets of the universe than I could ever be."

- In 'Jailbird', by Kurt Vonnegut

Look at me!

Whenever I'm walking randomly on weekends around town, I come across many women I find attractive. I stare at them, almost brazenly.

I receive a variety of reactions. Some genuinely don't even register my presence. Heck, most. Some are aware I'm there, but not too concerned. Some fastidiously avoid my gaze. Some of them catch my gaze, put on an annoyed expression, and promptly turn away. I'm fine with all that, I shouldn't be bothering them with unwanted attention anyway.

Now, some of them look away, then look back to see if I'm still checking them out. I guess they want to know if they're attractive. That's quite normal too. The part I hate is that they refuse to acknowledge whats going on. I mean, they act like they aren't looking at you, but they look at you just to know whether you're looking at them.

It's happened so many times, it's quite annoying. I understand most women would call me a letch or something. And argue that I should keep my eyes of the women. Hmmm. Well, that's all fine when you consider gentlemanly behaviour, and I can take a hint. The trouble is I'm looking for that one amazing moment that can really make my day once in a while. When an attractive person responds to your gaze, when both of us acknowledge each other's presence, and the hint of a spark forms between us, for an instant. I can safely assume I'd never see the person again. Yeah naturally, I don't expect such a thing to lead anywhere. That would be childish. It's just the simple rush of that very powerful moment.

A was saying that that's too much to expect from Indian women. Bollocks. I've had enough and more experience to know that it isn't Indianness, it's just something that makes us all take the safe and predictable path of avoiding confrontation. Fair enough, I guess. I'm not perfect either.

A bit of background: I've been single for quite some time now. Ah yes. So you've realised these are the rantings of a desperate fellow. Bloody loser. #&%@!*& MCP.

It's beyond that. I'm hoping for that one woman with the awareness and the zest for life that would enable such a thing. To connect with someone brave enough and interested enough to find pleasure in the most random of intersections. That's the day I'll raise a toast to a special kind of something.